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The End
8 months ago
You hear the voices too..?
This was how things were always meant to be...
It's been over 6 months since I've left the online world, I deleted everything about 3 months ago, and I will say, it has given me plenty of time to think... And I have come to a final conclusion
I will not return to posting my art ever again
I am far too traumatized by what all the people did to me to even think about returning, i almost lost my life 3 times because of all the hate and harassment, I had to consider every month if it was even worth continuing to draw because people decided I was a good target for hate.
I still don't know what I did to deserve it...
I get that Artistic nudity is not for everyone, I get people want more horny stuff, but was it really worth this much hate?
My online artist experience was so horrible because of this, people were talking rumors about me all the time, demanding I do stuff they wanted, and sending me hate messages and harassing me if I didn't
Worse of all, it was my only source of income
With all the mental and physical health issues I can't really do anything else, I had hoped art would help me cover my medical expenses, my prescriptions, rent, or help me survive in any way...
It didn't, it only made it worse... People made it worse
I still tried... but enough is enough
Now that I've been away and free from all the hate and all the people who only wanted to harm me, I can see it now
I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve to be a public artist, because I will never be accepted as one by this community
All I got was hate and rejection, I wanted to show a part of the world I had created, and people decided to take me down...
What was it.
was it the artist name?
Was it my art style?
Was it the content I drew?
Was it my characters?
Was it because I had nobody by my side?
Or was it just for fun?
Whatever the reasons were, there's no going back now, I've taken my choice, my art will never see this world again, only I will be the one to enjoy it
If you were looking forward to seeing me back someday, or seeing my art in the future, I'm sorry to say that, that day will never come
You have those who decided to traumatize me, to blame for that
"Just ignore them, they'll go away"
Sure, but 2 days later a new one came back, day after day, year after year, there was always someone.
In the end I knew this was meant to be, one way or another, not only was I targeted for harassment for my whole stay, I also picked the hardest path you could ever have as an artist:
Personal OCs only, Full artistic nudity, no kinks or fetishes, no sexualization, no artist friends, no friend circles, all on my own
Every day I was afraid it would be the last, every post I made I was afraid more people would come and hate me, every day I was afraid to lose it all, and not know how to continue the rest of my life...
Until it happened, over a year ago, when everyone stopped commissioning me, when everyone left me behind, when everyone forgot who I was
I understand now why artist say
"Support me if you'd want me to continue doing stuff like this"
I am an example of what happens when people don't help at all, you are forced to give up on dreams, on your goals, and let go of all that hope.
I never made it as an artist, I was never meant to be one, not on this world.
Nobody will ever see what I will make anymore, this world I've built for almost a decade is only for me to witness, all the stories I wanted to tell and show will no longer be seen, only I will understand what I've created
I won't return to a world that hates me, that rejects me, I don't feel welcome in this place or anywhere anymore, it's over, that's it.
Feel free to unfollow me from anywhere, here or Twitter, I'll only keep these accounts up as my artistic grave.
The voices of those few who cared about me were silenced by the hundreds that screamed their hate at me
My light only shines for a small few now, but not to this world.
Goodbye everyone
This is the last time you'll hear of me
Thanks for all the trauma and for making my life worse
Nontheless, I wish you the best, get well, may your mental recovery be swift and may your life be a happy one going forward. I will always appreciate you and your art.
Farewell and best of luck!
Thank you for all the work you did and thank you for the beautiful art you did to me and being an amazing and profesional artist while we talked.